Saturday, June 9, 2012

The People

And so we meet again in 3070!  What stories shall we tell today?  We've had the brief history and tour of our humble land.  Would you like to meet us?  Good, well then, come along.
At the entrance to 3070 sits the Man's Castle, so named by Man Robert the First who was known to say,  "A man's home is his castle."  We think he heard that somewhere else but we'll let that be.

Great grand child-wren...Jay (left) & Mac (right)

Man's Castle was the home of Man Robert and his wife, the Lady called Eleanor.  They lived there for many years and received regular visits from their child-wren and grand-child-wren and great-grand-children.  Man Robert and the Lady called Eleanor had a son named Bob (Man Robert the Second) and a daughter named Patricia.  Lisa and Robbie are the child-wren of Bob, Sara (Dippity) and Amy are the daughters of Patricia.  Sara (Dippity) has sons named Jay and Mac.  Amy has Daisy, Lucy and Sassy who are her child-wren but who have four legs and are very furry, lack of wings not withstanding.  Lisa's sons are Jacob and Josh.  Robbie (who is actually Man Robert the Third,) is the father of Jonathon, Seth and Christian.
All of the child-wren, grand-child-wren and great-grand-child-wren, together with Man Robert and the Lady called Eleanor are called The Family of 3070.  You may call them The Family if you like, being that we are not so formal around here.  Of all The Family, Man Robert and Lady Eleanor have gone to sleep and their statues of remembering are there with the Great Grandparents in the slumber-tarry just around the bend.  The Family misses them but they are not really at the slumber-tarry; they are in the King's Great Meadow.  So The Family feels a little sad but mostly happy.
Sara Dippity lives in the Man's Castle now, with her husband Dean and a four legged man with much fur named Donny.  Mac, the younger son, lives here too.  Jay the Elder lives in his own castle not too far away.  He still visits many times a week and eats their food. 
3070 is as happy as ever with The Family still visiting often and Sara Dippity still sits on The Back Porch every morning with a cup of coffee.  She talk to the King as his shadow falls across the Wild-er-ness and she remembers being a little girl and is thankful and quiet in her heart.  She calls Man Robert the First and the Lady called Eleanor Grampa & Gramma.  She hopes they think she is doing a good job of caring for 3070.  When the King's shadow falls, she knows for sure that she is just exactly at home.

From left: Man Robert the Third (grand son of Man Robert the First), Jay & Mac (great grand child-wren of Man Robert the First), Man Robert the First, Jacob (great grand son of Man Robert the First sitting on his Grandfather's lap)

Monday, June 4, 2012

Donny Vs. Shirley Temple

There are many stories from the olden days of 3070, but there are still stories happening today.  One of the stories is about Donny. 
Donny is a dog and the very first dog to live in 3070 in many many years.  Donny is a gentle dog and he really just wants to chase tennis balls and dig holes for napping on hot summer days.  Donny would like to have no enemies at all. 
Unfortunately, he does have one enemy.  One horrible horrible enemy. 
Those squirrels have a Squirrel Highway and they sit up there and chatter at him all day long.
"Hey Tennis Ball Breath!"
"You sleep in a hole...ha ha!"
And they even call him mean names like "Mr. Pants."  Those squirrels are so stupid, he doesn't even have pants!
Every single day Donny has to go all over 3070 chasing those hateful squirrels.
"Get out of here you hateful squirrels!" he barks at them. 
One day, a squirrel who was sitting on a park bench started talking to Donny.
"Hey, what kind of an animal are you anyway?"
"Arrooooo!" said Donny, "What do you think?"
"I bet you don't even have a proper name," said the squirrel.  Squirrels are obsessed with proper names.  This squirrel's name was Shirley Temple and she was much meaner than she looked.
"I do so too have a proper name, it's Donny!"
"What a dumb name.  You are a big ugly dumb Donny."
"Oh shut up Shirley Temple,"  said Donny.  "Shows what you know.  My name is Donny and I'm a hound dog.  Arrooooo!"
Shirley Temple scampered up the tree and down the squirrel highway. 
The next day she came back.
"Hey you, you ain't nothin' but a hound dog!"
Donny glared at the squirrel.
"You ain't nothing but a hound dog, crying all the time!"
Donny said, "Arroooooo! I'm not crying all the time!"
"You ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine!"
Donny wasn't sure why Shirley Temple would be his friend if he caught a rabbit but he was sneaking up on her as she stood at the base of a tree so he let her keep talking.
"I'm gonna change your name you old hillbilly hound dog!"
"Arrooooo!" said Donny running after her.  That's it, nobody is changing his name.
And do you know what that mean old Shirley Temple did?  She went and told all those other mean old squirrels her new nickname for Donny...Elvis. 

For some reason, it stuck.

The El Camino Chip Monk Brothers

Did you know that many squirrels are bullies?  It might seem that they are cuddly and sweet-faced but they can be quite nasty as well.  That was what was happening one day when a squirrel named Humphrey Bogart ran across a chipmunk named Brother.
"Hey you!" said Humphrey Bogart, "What are you doing?"
"Just gathering seeds to share with my brothers," said Brother.
"What's your name?" said Humphrey.  "Brother,"  said Brother.
Oh brother.  That's how it all started.  Humphrey Bogart said Brother was a dumb name and Brother was a dumb dummy.  Brother explained that all of his brothers were named brother.
And Humphrey Bogart laughed a mean squirrel laugh and said, "Get out of here and don't come back until you have a real name!"
Brother was scared and embarrassed and he ran home to tell his brothers what happened.  You might be wondering yourself why all of the chipmunks were named Brother?  It is because the chipmunks of 3070 are actually Chip Monks.  They are devoutly religious chipmunks you see.  Until the day that Humphrey Bogart the Squirrel made fun of Brother, they thought it was a fine arrangement.  However, Chip Monks are humble animals and if Humphrey did not want them to come back to gather seeds until they had names, they had better get names.  Winter was coming fast and they certainly needed to gather food. 
But where would they find names? 
They asked the Dove Sisters where they got their names.  Eleanor, Elizabeth, Goldie, Emma and Elsie cooed gently, "Our mother and father gave us our names, of course."
If the Chip Monks parents had given them names, it was so long ago they couldn't remember them anymore.

The Chip Monks tried to ask the squirrels where they got their names.  Judy Garland and Micky Rooney the Squirrels threw acorns at them and said, "Scram!"
Then one day as the Chip Monks were asking the King for an answer, they saw Man Robert the First on Man's Perch.  He was talking to another man who said he needed a new truck.  Man Robert said, "All I can tell you is, I loved that El Camino."
El Camino!
The gentle Chip Monks thought that El Camino would be a wonderful name.  After all, their good friend Man Robert loved it.  Let those mean old squirrels try to push him around!
The next day, three of the Chip Monk brothers went out in the morning to gather seeds.  Humphrey Bogart was already there with another squirrel named Clark Gable.
"Hey chipmunk, didn't I tell you not to come back here until you have a name?"
"Yes indeed you did!" said the Chip Monks all together.  "And we do have a name!"
"Oh yeah, what's your name?"  said Clark Gable.
"El Camino!"  the Chip Monks chirped in unison!
"That's a dumb old name and anyway, you can't all have the same name." said Humphrey Bogart.
"Oh yeah," said Brother El Camino, "That shows what you know.  This way,  everyone in 3070 knows our name.  We know no strangers!"
Humphrey and Clark thought that something seemed strange about that idea but they couldn't quite put their finger on it.  So Brothers El Camino, Chip Monks of 3070, gathered their seeds in peace.

And whenever a mean old squirrel tries to make fun of them, they remind him that they were named by Man Robert the First himself.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Chipmunk Avenue

One day, Gerheart the Great looked around the beautiful land of 3070 and thought to himself, "I think we're on to something here, savvy me?"   No one answered so he decided to call an official assembly. 
"People, birds and creatures of 3070," Gerheart boomed, "Gather 'round, I've got something to say, savvy me?"
The problem was, Gerheart thought he boomed when actually, he only chirped. 
That's why the only ones to come to his meeting were The Chipmunks.  Having rather chirpy voices themselves, they were sensitive to the upper registers. 
Gerheart was not discouraged.  He looked at the furry mass of chipmunks and told them his plan.
"Chipmunks of 3070,  it is time for our great land to move up in the world.  I therefore decree that 3070 is officially a village and I am the mayor!  Savvy me?"  And the chipmunks, all at once, raised their tiny paws and said, "Chirp! Chchchchchch!"
"Listen here you chipmunks, it's your lucky day.  It's time to put the Village of 3070 on the map.  I am giving you a great responsibility.  You are appointed to name the streets of 3070!" 
And the chipmunks each pointed to their own tiny chests and looked at one another and said, "'Who?  Me?" and "I'm pretty busy right now Mayor Gerheart."  and "Hey, when did we vote?"
"Off you go you chipmunks and name the streets of the Village of 3070!  You all voted for me, don't you remember?"
And the chipmunks really didn't remember but they were embarrassed that perhaps they'd forgotten so they didn't say anything.  Besides, no one else had ever been nice enough to invite them to an assembly. 
The next day the chipmunks came back and told Gerheart that their task was complete!  The mayor was so excited at how quickly the Village of 3070 was coming along that he declared a parade.  During the parade, the chipmunks would officially tell everyone the new names of the streets of 3070.  Off they marched headed due east from Bird's Corner.  "What's the name of this street?" asked Gerheart."  "Chipmunk Avenue!" 
Hmm, well that seemed a bit self-important but why not give the little fellas a chance to enjoy their moment in the limelight.
They turned north and the chipmunks excitedly called out, "Chipmunk Avenue!" 
"Wait wait wait!"  boom/chirped Gerheart the Great.  "I thought the last street was Chipmunk Avenue!"
On and on it went all day long until finally, Gerheart was getting a headache from the tinny shouts, "Chipmunk Avenue!" and sore feet from walking along behind the motley group of chipmunks.  Gerheart was, of course, not accustomed to so much walking.
"Hang on you crazy chipmunks!" Gerheart called out.  "Am I to understand that you took an entire day to name every street in 3070 Chipmunk Avenue?"
The chipmunks looked at one another quizzically.  "Of course Mr.Mayor!" 
"Good heavens you crazy chipmunks!  Why in the world would you do such a thing?"
"It's quite simple, "the chipmunks replied, "This way you always know where you are and you'll never be lost.  Even strangers will always know exactly where they are...Chipmunk Avenue!"
And so, the streets of 3070 were named all those years ago.
As for Gerheart the Great, he looked around and decided that perhaps it was best to leave well enough alone.  His feet were sore and his head was aching and he couldn't remember which Chipmunk Avenue led home.

And that is why, to this very day, there is no mayor but a dozen Chipmunk Avenues in 3070.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Introducing the Mourning Dove Sisters

The Mourning Dove Sisters...
Since you know your way around now, how would you like to meet some of the citizens of 3070? 

Breakfast in Sunflower Park, look closely!

Let's start then with the descendants of Gerheart the Great, the birds of 3070.  There are many families of birds who chirp and fly around these parts.    Sara Dippity has a hard time telling them apart unless they are all together in a row.  Then she will exclaim to Dean or Donny or whomever,  "Look there are actually 5 mourning doves!"
Speaking of which, let us start with the Dove Family.  There are five dove sisters who coo and cluck around Bird's Corner.  They do not mind so much when we say that they coo.  However, they are quite affronted at the accusation that they cluck.  Their names are Yolanda Margaret, Goldie Olga, Emma Lillian, Elizabeth and Elsie.  Elsie is the youngest and the loudest clucker by the way.  She says she is not clucking, she is giggling. 
The Dove sisters are all lovely and elegant and prefer to wait quietly in the Sunflower Park (we haven't yet visited Sunflower Park?  Please remind us later to point it out.)  Anyway, Yolanda, Goldie, Emma, Elizabeth and Elsie glide gently to Sunflower Park which is just northwest of Chipmunk Avenue.  Oh dear, that doesn't help much, does it?  Never mind.  In the early mornings even before the King's shadow falls, the sisters can be heard in the distance gently calling to one another..."Come Sisters, come and have breakfast!" And one by one they come on wide blue gray wings to sit on the fence watching the common birds (for that is what they call them,) madly flitting about and knocking birdseed right down onto Sunflower Park.  Once a good deal of seed has landed among the cool shadows of the park, the ladies simply land and nibble daintily.  Not for them is the silliness of hanging from a tiny perch grabbing at their breakfast.  After breakfast, they take a little walk around Bird's Corner taking in the sights and greeting their friends.  The chipmunks often report that the sisters do indeed cluck as they pass saying, "You chipmunks must start giving your avenues different names, for goodness sake!" They even give a pleasant "hello" to the common birds because, after all, they are the ones who delivered them their breakfast.

Walking through Bird's Corner after breakfast.

As the King's shadow falls, the sisters join in harmony to greet him and it's said that they are singing the old human song, "On the wings of the snow white dove; He sends his pure sweet love..." They are not snow white doves but the King tells of their ancestor who brought the presence of the Holy Spirit in the days when Jesus walked among men.  So they sing to the King as he walks again in the cool mornings to tell him he is welcome here in 3070.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Landmarks of 3070

Good morning and welcome back to 3070!  We are so glad to see you.  It seems that you might be visiting with us on occassion so perhaps you would like a tour of the major landmarks of 3070?  Well, come along, there's much to see and do...

Squirrel Highway

Chipmunk Avenue

Squirrel Highway, rest stop

Bird's Corner

The Lake in the Wild-er-ness

The Wild-er-ness

Chipmunk Avenue
The Statue of Remembering in Geheart's Blue Lake
The Bubbling Lake

The Town Square

Man's Perch (aka The Back Porch)

We hope we didn't move too quickly.  You'll find your way easily enough, despite the chipmunks and all of their avenues with the same name.
You can stop anywhere alone the tour to rest and relax for a moment.  The rest stops along Squirrel Highway are a bit difficult to reach for the child-wren of Man Robert, but to each his own.  He's got a nice little spot on Man's Perch that is known locally as The Back Porch.  It's most always pleasant there.
We especially recommend taking extra time in the King's shadow.  

Monday, May 28, 2012

Welcome to 3070

Welcome to the land of Three Thousand Seventy.  For short, we will say 3070.  It is a very not interesting name and we wish it was something more poetic sounding like Birdsong Acres or Evergreen Pond.   The problem is that we do not have acres or a pond and when we got here, this was the name of the place.   We do not know why this land is called 3070.  We asked around in the lands of 3060 and 3080 and they could not explain it either, they are equally confused at the names of their lands. 
Ah well, it's a very nice place anyhow.  Although we do not have acres or a pond, we have three lakes (Lake in the Wild-er-ness, The Bubbling Lake and Gerheart's Blue Lake), The Wild-er-ness, The Squirrel Highway (which travels to all of the other lands around us), Bird's Corner, Chipmunk Avenues (all of the avenues have the same name, chipmunks are not good namers) and the Town Square.  There is the Giant Castle and Man's Perch as well. There you have it and welcome to our home. 

The Statue of Remembering

This is our Statue of Remembering.  It is a statue of Gerheart The Great and as you can see, it is in the middle of Gerheart's Blue Lake.  What was so great about Gerheart?  Many years ago, Gerheart said to us all, "I am great!  Savvy me?"  And we did not want to hurt his feelings and so we said, "Yup!"  Gerheart the Great was born on a Farm a long long way away from 3070.  He wanted to have some adventures so he flew to the City and to the Cottage and to the Town and to The Farm (which was another farm altogether.)  Then he flew to 3070 because he was getting to be tired from all of his flying and this is where he stayed.  When he came to 3070, he met Man Robert the First.  Man Robert the First was quite nice only he tried to tell Gerheart that his name was Man Robert the Great.  Gerheart never heard of such boastful nonsense so he nodded politely but in his heart, he only ever thought of his friend as Man Robert the First. 
Man Robert the First was a good neighbor.  He went about planting petunias and hanging restaurants in the trees which he called "bird feeders."  Remembering the days as a farm bird when Gerheart had to go plucking about for his dinner, he very happy about Man Robert's bird feeders and sent the word to his friends that 3070 was a great land indeed. 

The King's Shadow falling across the Wilder-er-ness

And so Gerheart the Great and Man Robert the First spent many happy days in 3070.  In the early mornings Man Robert would sit with a cup of coffee upon the Man's Perch while Gerheart nibbled on his breakfast and in the sweet quiet mornings, they would wait until the King's shadow fell across the land.  You see, the King is the one who really owns 3070 as well as all of the surrounding lands.  He is kind and gentle and if you sit quietly in the mornings, his shadow will still fall across the Wild-er-ness and then across the Town Square.  You can go and stand in his shadow if you like, and you will feel warm and calm and good. 
Gerheart the Great and Man Robert the First and the King would meet every morning and together, 3070 became an ever better land.  Gerheart the Great flew away one day and now we only have his Statue of Remembering.  Man Robert the First went to sleep, his statue of remembering is in a nearby land, where all of the men's statues are kept.  But that does not mean they do not spend the mornings in the King's shadow anymore!  Oh no!  They moved away to the King's Great Meadow!  It is even lovelier than 3070 in the King's Great Meadow and the King's shadow warms them night and day. 
But the land of 3070 is still quite busy with the children of Gerheart the Great and all of their neighbors flying and running and squawking and chirping.  Man Robert the First's grand-child-wren (who never seemed to grow wings but Gerheart didn't want to embarrass his friend by mentioning it) and great-grand-child-wren (who still didn't have any wings but by this time, even Gerheart the Great had to admit the that great-grand-child-wren were quite nice) still live in 3070.  Man Robert and Gerheart like to peek over the edge of the King's Great Meadow to watch the happy times of the child-wren and their child-wren and their child-wren.
For there are still many happy times in the King's shadow.